This month Shea had an appointment with Dr. McKay, one of her plastic surgeons. He was encouraged by the symmetry of her eyes and doesn't think she will need a brow lift or an eye tack, which is putting a stitch or two at the outer eye area to lift it up. He believes that as the swelling continues to go down, the eye will naturally go up on its own. Yes, after almost three months Shea still has quite a bit of swelling. The not so good news is that Shea will have to have her cheekbone rebroken as it still has not healed properly. At her next surgery (we don't know when that will be), they will do a complete headband incision from ear to ear, actually pulling down her face to see the true symmetry of both cheekbones. The doctors tried not to be as invasive at her recent surgery but realize now that it is necessary.
The last few days for Shea have been a little down. She was pulling back her hair tonight and caught a glimpse of her face -- not like she doesn't see it every day, but it was one of those times when the reality of all that has happened became real again. Sometimes she is so busy that she doesn't take time to analyze her face -- much like most of us. The realization of all that she has endured and all that lies ahead can be a little discouraging.
Shea has braces again. She got the tooth-colored kind so it really isn't noticeable. Since her three front teeth are not her own, she only has a thin wire that goes across the front, so it looks pretty much like a retainer. She was just showing me her bite, and I can't believe she has never complained before. I couldn't see any teeth that meet. Shea is having some stomach problems as she can't chew her food properly, so we are discussing cutting meat from her diet and other chewy foods that are hard for the system to digest. Shea meets with Dr. Salama, her orthodontist, tomorrow and we will know more then.
Some of you have asked us about Shea's vision in her left eye. The spot was originally big and black, then it turned to grey, and now it is transparent in some areas -- like looking through a cloud, she says. Sometimes it makes her dizzy, and it also causes her to have problems with depth perception. The good news is, it continues to diminish. Shea wants to see it clear up naturally as opposed to another surgery.
Steve asked Shea when she would be ready to sing at church again. She has not sung since before the accident and just took up voice lessons again. Shea has been very hesitant to sing since she doesn't like what she hears. With all the plates and screws and the fact that her sinus cavities were shattered, her voice sounds foreign to her. We felt she was ready to sing again and needed the confidence to do it. Steve gave her a song to practice -- a duet with her special friend, Jason Baker. They practiced and practiced and finally on Saturday night when we thought they would just run through it a few more times, Shea began to cry. "I can't do it." -- almost like how some describe a panic attack. We tried to encourage her and pray with her but she decided it would be better to have someone else sing in her place. It wasn't until one in the morning that Shea recognized that she was being prideful (her word, not mine!) in not doing what she knew in her heart God wanted her to do. It was her offering to Him. No matter how she sounded, she would sing it to Him! Everyone at church was so excited as they have walked with our family through this most difficult time. They stood and clapped with gratitude at what God has done in Shea's life. As Luke watched his sister sing, he became emotional as just ten months ago Shea was on life support, not expected to live and now she was singing again -- doing what she loves most. One proud brother!
"My Offering"
I lay it all down, my dreams and my crown
Lord I surrender
I lay it all down, my fear and my doubt
Lord I surrender
My heart like never before
My heart like never before
Lord I want to give you everything
i want to give you everything
This is my offering
Give me the strength, enough for today
Lord I surrender
Show me your way
Give me your grace
Lord to surrender
Lord I surrender
My heart like never before
My heart like never before
Lord I want to give you everything
I want to give you everything
This is my offering
The Hickoks
